A smile is the welcome mat at the door of kindness.
Conscience may not prevent you from doing wrong,
but it is sure to keep you from enjoying it.
A failure is a person who has blundered
and is not able to cash in on the experience.
Take care of what you say.
You don't have to explain what you don't say.
In order to know the value of money,
a person should borrow it.
It doesn't take long for a person with push
to pass a person with pull.
Maybe we were better off when charity
was a virtue instead of a tax deduction.
Back in the horse and buggy days
they really had a stable economy.
When we do our best today,
we set the stage for a better tomorrow.
If God wanted most of us to see the sunrise,
He would have scheduled it later in the day.
The most enjoyable way to follow a vegetable diet
is to let the cow eat it, and then eat the cow.
The biggest drawback to budding love these days
is the blooming expense.
You can know a great deal about a person
by what he says about others.
Being married saves a man a lot of time
making up his mind about things.
Good examples have twice the value of good advice.
Never invite trouble
- it will accept the invitation every time.
A housewarming is to give another chance
to people who didn't send a wedding gift.
Nothing conceals your laurels
as much as resting on them.
Most girls go for the strong, solvent type.
Overweight is what happens to you
when you live in a foods paradise.
Years ago kids were always served health food.
If you knew what was good for your heath,
you ate the food.
We can blame the recession on public television.
People can watch public television for hours
and hours and there are no commercials.
How do they expect us to know what to buy.
My goal in life is to die young,
but at a very old age.
For Father's Day my kids always give me
English Leather cologne, which is very appreciated.
To them I've always smelled like a wallet.
In my family I get absolute obedience.
For my Birthdays I tell them not to spend
a whole lot of money on me...and they don't.
I came from a town that is so small,
the phone book doesn't have last names.
She says that when she's down in the dumps
she gets a new hat.
Obviously that's where she gets them.
He's the type who approaches every subject
with an open mouth.
It seems some people have no use
for people they can't use.
