Santa Jokes

Santa had a dream in which someone murdered him.
Next day he closed his bank account. Know why?
Because the bank’s slogan was: 

We make your dreams come true…

Santa: Why did the man put his radio in his refrigerator?
Banta: I give up.
Santa: Stupid, because he wanted to hear cool music

santa asks banta to bring a pepsi. banta brings a bottle of pepsi
but goes directly to Tendulkar.
why ?? why ??
Ans: Tendulkar is an opener.

Pappu: Dad, what is an idiot?
Santa: An idiot is a person who tries to explain
his ideas in such a strange and long way that
another person who is listening to him can’t
understand him. Do you understand me?
Pappu: No.

Banta was repeatedly buying a movie ticket
seller asked why?
Banta: some stupid standing near the door
is tearing my ticket every time.

Santa Jokes

Santa: Oye! What are you?
Banta: Recording this baby’s voice.
Santa: Why?
Banta: When he grows up.
”
”
”
I shall ask him what he meant by this.

A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell,
Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies,
I’m coming daily since 4 days,
I press the bell but no one comes out

 

A Girl Romantically said to a santa: Do U want to see the place
where they did Apendix Operation to me?
santa: No, I hate Hospitals.

Funny illustrations with pencil shavings

UNIQUE PHOTOS

MAGICAL PHOTOS - 

both complex and beautiful .....

Row, row, row my bod, gently down the stream.....

Quick, I need some floss, I think I've got a seed stuck in my beak.

Hey guys, what do you think I am, a houseboat?

Where is my Prozac, I'm feeling so blue.

So? I'm just not into socks, I like the wind on my ankles.

Landing check list; gear down, check; full flaps, check; runway clear, check; alignment correct, check.

Man, I wish I could build nests like that!!

Just keeping an eye on those noisy magpies next door.

But Honey, what makes you think I had a little too much at the office party?

I would have sworn the package said Swiss.

Hello, are you the photographer from Vogue?

Wow! That was one very elusive fish!

You idiot, don't you know you are supposed to pass on the left?

No, I didn't read the part in the Bible about breaking bread together so just let go.

OK girls, I think we are ready for "Dancing With The Birds".

Come on Willard, quit acting like an NFL defensive back!

Yeah, well your eyes would get big too if someone had their fuzzy hands all over your bod!

Which way did you say it was to the Xtreme Games?

With this disguise, they'll never figure out who robbed their nest!

The doctor said it wasn't malignant but I think I'll get a second opinion.

So sorry to have to ask all of you to help but I really do need that contact I dropped.

Don't look at me like that, haven't you ever heard of Santa Bird?

Oh, how I love government handouts!!

No, the brown part is not me, it is my "floatie cushion".

What an attractive hors d'oeuvre

Were you eating blackberries when you sneezed on my wing?

Hey, don't blame me, my mother was a Cardinal and my father was a Magpie.

Oh WOW, what a hoot. You really bought the bit about us being wise?

Oh how I hate it when it itches there!

FUNNY SNOW MEN

The Snowman Who Lost His Head

The Buff Snowman

The Snow Cat

An Army of Snowmen

A Terrified Snowman

Kung Fu Panda Snowman

Snow Guy on the Park Bench

The Snowman Tech Guy

Snowman Card Night